Why Social Anxiety Isn’t Just Shyness—And What to Do About It
If you've ever felt dismissed with phrases like “You’re just shy” or “Just put yourself out there”—you’re not alone. Social anxiety often gets mistaken for simple shyness, but the truth is, it's much deeper than that.
As a therapist in Philadelphia specializing in social and relationship anxiety, I work with many teens and adults who feel misunderstood, stuck, or overwhelmed in social situations—not because they're introverts, but because they’re living with social anxiety.
Social Anxiety vs. Shyness: What’s the Difference?
While shyness is a personality trait that may make someone feel hesitant in new situations, social anxiety is a diagnosable mental health condition that involves intense fear of being judged, rejected, or humiliated in social settings.
Here’s how you can tell the difference:
Shyness:
Temporary discomfort in some social situations
Usually fades with time or familiarity
Doesn’t interfere significantly with daily life
Social anxiety:
Persistent, intense fear that doesn’t go away
Often gets worse without support
Can disrupt school, work, relationships and self-esteem
People with social anxiety often know their fears are irrational—but that doesn't stop the panic, avoidance, or overthinking.
What Social Anxiety Can Look Like
Avoiding phone calls, social events, or speaking in groups
Constant worry about saying the “wrong” thing
Replaying conversations over and over afterward
Feeling physically sick before social interactions
Struggling to make or maintain friendships or relationships
Turning down opportunities due to fear of embarrassment
It’s more than being quiet—it’s carrying a constant fear of not being “good enough” socially.
The Impact on Relationships
For teens and adults alike, social anxiety can be incredibly isolating. Many clients I see in my Philadelphia therapy practice describe feeling lonely, yet unsure how to connect. They want relationships—but fear judgment, rejection, or awkwardness so much that they stay silent or avoidant.
The result? Missed connections, misunderstood intentions, and a cycle of self-criticism.
What You Can Do About It
The good news is: social anxiety is treatable. You don’t have to “tough it out” or stay stuck in your head forever.
Therapy offers a safe space to explore what’s driving the anxiety—and begin to gently challenge the patterns that keep it going.
Here’s what therapy for social anxiety might include:
Understanding your triggers: What types of situations activate the fear?
Mind-body tools: Learn ways to calm your nervous system in the moment.
Reshaping your inner dialogue: Interrupt harsh self-talk and replace it with something more helpful.
Gradual exposure: With support, you can practice new ways of showing up socially—at your pace.
Brainspotting (for deeper work): A non-verbal method I offer that helps process fear stored in the body, especially for clients who feel stuck or overwhelmed.
Therapy for Social Anxiety in Philadelphia
If you're tired of feeling anxious around people, and you're ready for a new way forward, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
I help teens and adults in Philadelphia navigate social anxiety so they can build confidence, feel more connected, and show up as their authentic selves.
Want to see if we’re a good fit? I offer a free 15-minute consultation. Contact me here to get started.