Helping Anxious Kids Thrive in School: Strategies for Parents and Teachers

Back-to-school season can bring excitement—but for anxious kids, it often brings dread. Stomachaches, tears at drop-off, refusal to go, or constant worry about school performance can all be signs your child is struggling with anxiety—not just “being difficult.”

As a therapist in Philadelphia who works with anxious children and teens, I’ve seen how anxiety can quietly interfere with learning, friendships, and confidence. But with the right support from both parents and teachers, anxious kids can feel safer, more capable, and more connected at school.

Understanding School Anxiety in Kids

Anxiety isn’t always loud. It often shows up in subtle or misunderstood ways at school:

• Avoiding participation or speaking in class

• Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes

• Frequent visits to the nurse with no clear medical reason

• Difficulty separating at drop-off (especially in younger children)

• Trouble focusing due to racing thoughts

• Meltdowns before or after school

If a child is acting out, withdrawing, or constantly worried about school-related issues, they’re likely not trying to be “bad” or “lazy”—they’re overwhelmed.

How Parents Can Help an Anxious Child Succeed in School

1. Validate Their Feelings, Even If You Don’t Understand Them
Say things like, “It makes sense that school feels hard right now” instead of “You’ll be fine” or “There’s nothing to worry about.” Validation calms the nervous system.

2. Create Predictability
Help your child prepare for the day with consistent routines, visual schedules, or reminders. Predictability reduces anxiety.

3. Practice Coping Skills at Home
Teach your child tools like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or visualizing a “calm place.” Practicing when they’re calm helps them access these skills when anxious.

4. Break Down Big Fears into Small Steps
Instead of pushing them to do everything at once (e.g., give a full presentation), see if they can start with a smaller step—like reading one sentence aloud.

5. Collaborate with the School
Teachers, counselors, and school psychologists can be part of your child’s support team. Ask about 504 plans, flexible accommodations, or safe spaces your child can access when overwhelmed.

How Teachers Can Support Anxious Students

Teachers are often the first to notice when a child is struggling. Here are some ways to help anxious kids feel safer and more engaged in the classroom:

1. Create a Calm, Predictable Environment
Clear routines, visual cues, and calm redirection go a long way in making anxious students feel safe.

2. Offer Low-Stakes Opportunities to Participate
Instead of cold-calling, let students know when they’ll be asked to share. Provide options for written responses or small group participation.

3. Normalize Mistakes and Self-Compassion
Model that mistakes are part of learning. Celebrate effort, not just outcome.

4. Provide a Break Plan
Work with the student and parents to create a plan if anxiety spikes—a brief break in the hallway, a note to the counselor, or a quiet activity to regulate.

5. Stay Connected with Parents
Consistent, compassionate communication between teachers and parents helps track patterns, celebrate progress, and plan interventions early.

When to Consider Therapy

If your child’s anxiety is interfering with school attendance, friendships, or their ability to enjoy learning, therapy may help. In my Philadelphia therapy practice, I use a combination of cognitive-behavioral tools, mindfulness, and Brainspotting (a body-based method for processing anxiety stored in the nervous system) to support anxious children and teens.

Therapy offers a safe space for kids to express their worries, learn calming strategies, and build confidence—without pressure or shame.

Supporting anxious kids takes a team approach—and it starts with understanding. With patience, consistency, and the right tools, anxious students can thrive in school, academically and emotionally.

Therapy for Anxious Kids in Philadelphia
If you’re looking for a child anxiety therapist in Philadelphia, I offer supportive, strengths-based care for children, teens, and families. Reach out for a free consultation to see how I can help.